Like most things in life, timing is important when it comes to toilet training your children. There is an optimum physiological time and a best time of year. The physiologic time is right when your children signal you that a need to defecate or urinate is urgent. The most common sign is wriggling. If your child signals that they have to go, then your chances of toilet training success are good. The signals mean that the youngster is aware of his or her bodily functions. The best time of year to toiolet train your child is during the warm weather. Children need fewer layers of outer clothing during the warm weather so there is less to get soiled.

The most important element of toilet training to remember as an adult, is to stay calm, quiet and reasonable. If your youngsters cry, balk, worry or show signs of trauma, forget the training for a few months and then try again later. Remember that all normal children go to a bathroom in good time.

There are no fixed rules. However, the technique that works the best is behavior modification with a primary and secondary reward. The primary reward can be a small treat and the secondary reward can be a simple statement of appreciation such as "good job." After the youngsters have some success, you eliminate the primary reward. From then on, you use the secondary reward in its place. Choose a peaceful time in both your life and in your child's life to begin. Start by telling your youngster that it is time to use the bathroom like Mom and Dad. Tell them that you are going to put the diapers away. Let the youngsters watch as you put the diapers in the garbage or at the top of a closet.

Put your youngster in cotton pants, not toilet training diapers. Tell the children that they might have an accident and that is O.K. Instruct them to use paper towels for cleanup. Put the towels in a convenient place with a garbage can nearby. Then show them where to find clean underpants. Tell them to change their pants if they have an accident. When an accident occurs, let them tidy up with as little help from you as possible.

With this training, your child is ready to toilet train him or herself. They are in charge. The design of the experience makes it easy. When things go well there are treats and praises. When things wrong, nothing happens! There is no feedback at all.

The youngster should show signs of being on track in about five days. Some children train completely in a week. If the children are not having any success getting to the bathroom on time, retrieve the diapers and tell them toilet training can wait. Forget the entire process for several months. The youngsters may ask to try again. Let them do it. Follow the same instructions as before.

One little boy, who was almost two years old, trained within five days with this technique. He had an M&M as the primary reward and "good boy" as the secondary reward. After several successful days, the M&M's were put away and the secondary reward replaced the primary reward. The reward for using the toilet was always the same,"good boy." One morning, at six a.m., the youngster walked in on his Dad in the buff, using the toilet in the appropriate manner. The youngster walked up, patted his Dad on the buns and said, "good boy, Dad." This certainly woke up his sleepy father who roared with laughter. Behavior modification works and is a powerful training tool.