Parents might expect sibling rivalry to occur within weeks of a new baby's arrival. This can happen. However, it is more common for sibling rivalry to occur when the baby is mobile and verbal. The older children see the younger children sitting in the high chairs that were theirs. They see the new babies wearing their old clothes, sleeping in their old cribs and playing with their beloved baby toys. To make matters worse, the older children see that baby babbling away at every opportunity, taking attention away from them. What an insult!

Many things happen. The older children push or hit the younger children without apparent provocation. The older children attempt to take the focus off the younger children by attention getting behavior. The older children take the younger children for a walk to a location away from the area where they are getting everyone's attention.

When parents see the older children are feeling left out and unappreciated, there are ways to mend the problem. One way is to take outings with the older children leaving the little ones at home. The parents structure the outings so that the older youngsters have "one on one' time with first one parent and then the other. During these outings, the parents say pleasant things to the older children such as, "You are so grown up. It is a big help to Mom and Dad. " Then you can reinforce the older children's importance by saying, "Let's get some food for the baby, what do you think the baby would like to eat? You choose some jars." Give the older children a sense of importance about the role they play in the nurturing of the baby. Parents often use the older children as a helper with the baby. Most of the time it is to get something and bring it to the parent because the baby is on their lap. Try to be considerate of the older children and don't interrupt important play activities.

When people compliment the baby, look for ways to point out something nice about the older children. For example, a doting Aunt walks in and says " Oh the baby is so beautiful.," the parents can say "Now we have two beautiful children instead of just one. " After the statement, give the older child a hug, or a smile and a wink. A little reassurance and encouragement go a long way.